lil thoughts (wrote November 2008)

Always the other
never the one.
Cheated on
never good
enough
to have it all and not fuck it up.
Stupid feelings
sorry for myself
a waste of time.

*********************************************

Sleeping Beauty
had her kiss.
Cinderella
had her shoe.
I am no princess
and there is no
prince.

*********************************************

Walking around this house
late at night and alone
Everywhere I look reminded
of you and the life we shared
the bedroom a tomb.
clothes hang nicely on hangers
shirts folded in drawers
the same as the day you left.
I want it gone
get you out of my mind
my heart.
Rip it up
throw it out
Burn it down
Your control
no longer holds me here.

I know...

Oh, whoa

Be careful making wishes in the dark, dark
Can't be sure when they've hit their mark, mark
And besides in the mean, mean time
I'm just dreaming of tearing you apart

I'm in the details with the devil
So now the world can never get me on my level
I just gotta get you out of the cage
I'm a young lover's rage
Gonna need a spark to ignite
I know what you did in the dark

So light 'em up,
Light 'em up, up, up
I'm on fire

In the dark

All the writers keep writing what they write
Somewhere another pretty vein just died
I've got the scars from tomorrow and I wish you could see
That you’re the antidote to everything except for me

A constellation of tears on your lashes
Burn everything you love, then burn the ashes
In the end everything collides
My childhood spat back out the monster that you see

I know what you did in the dark

I'm on fire

In the dark

 

These words are not mine, but from the song "my song's know what you did in the dark"(light'em up). This song spoke to me on so many levels that I just had to tweak it just a bit to fit my point of view. 

vanish

The dark abyss of nothing
fate wrapping around me
it's freezing embrace
fear sets in you loving eyes
the river of tears glinting down your cheeks
soaking your heart
reaching for you
I cup your face
kissing each eye dry
one last lingering kiss
on your lips
this sacrifice I gladly make
to keep you whole
pushing you away
as I am pulled
to vanish in the the dark.

clock

Time was off again
distance it's partner in crime
tick tock tick tock
it begins
just a bit to soon
a tad late
time pulled me
distance shoved you
here there
no in between
life's clock moves
us forward to lead
lives we had no say
in choosing

caught

Your cover is blown
thought you were safe,snug, and comforted
in your beautiful lie.
Burning with anger
you freeze with fear
stuttering and stammering
to deny what you said
Smiling and laughing
as I watch you squirm and twitch
Begging and pleading for
that 2nd chance.
Screaming that you'd die
without me by your side
as I pick up this last shattered
piece of an already
Broken heart
a single tear shimmers
down my cheek
A grin crosses my lips
fitting...
as you weave unbelievable
lies.

equal

You'll be you
I'll be me
within us each
the other completes
change not needed
just an understanding
an acceptance
you breathe out
I breathe in
as my eyes close
yours flutter open
neither leads
no on to follow
moving as one
two equal halves
my thoughts you feel
your emotions I speak
a yin to a yang
a balance indeed

Ride

I'm broken
I'm defeated
So frustrated
Wrapped up in you
I always seem to be
ups and downs
the
highs and
                      lows
swirling and twirling
dizzy
you spin me round
head over heels
I seem to go
Down is up
up is Down
I'm falling
I'm flying
when will this ride end?
Round and round
we go
when will it stop?
No one knows?

But the questions remains ...
Do I even want it to